The Five Olympics

[Smash Hits - December '98 AUS ISSUE]

The pressure is rising as J, Sean, Rich, Abs and Scott prepare for the Five Olympics! Bands mates or not, it's every pop star for himself. Let the battle commence. There's 5 categories for our pop competitors. Firstly - the sack race, then arm wrestling, then the serious stuff - Olympic Cracker eating! And to finish, there's the ironing man contest and a tough game of Twister. "I'm really competitive and I'm gonna win everything!" J boasts. Sean's excited about the prospect of whipping J's ass at Twister and smiles confidently. The look on J's eyes says, "This is war!"

AIM: To reach the finishing line first by jumping up and down in a sack!

Deep breaths are taken and the boys rush forward to nab the best sack. But someone's missing, and after a quick search J is found located behind some curtains, trimming his beard! The guys are finally lined up and are ready to jump their way to glory! On your marks, get set… and they're off! Jumping and howling like a pack of wolves, they race to the finish where they collapse in a giggling heap. And the winner is… Sean! He gives the others a smug grin and stands up to collect his medal. Sadly, Sean's cool performance is ruined when he almost falls over while clambering out of his sack!

AIM: To lock hands with your opponent and force his knuckles to touch the floor.

Abs and Rich position themselves on the floor, both fellas are wearing looks of determination. After much grunting, Rich's muscles win out. But rather than basking in his glory, the poor bloke leaps to his feet - he's developed a cramp in his bum! Within seconds of clasping hands Sean and Scott are red and sweaty. But Scott uses both hands and gets disqualified! "Come on, lets' ave ya!" Sean shouts to Rich as the third heat begins. Rich beats Sean hands down, so it's Rich and J in the final. J warns Rich: "I'm not letting you win." Rich soon realizes that while he may have a winning smile, he doesn't have a winning arm. It's J who triumphs and walks away, grinning like a five-year-old.

AIM: To iron a shirt perfectly.

"I'm a good ironer!" quips Rich. "J and I do all the ironing at home!" He leans a little closer and whispers in our ear, "Will you fix it for me to win the ironing?" No way! We send Rich off to face his challenge. Sean is out of the running due to a "Which way does it go?" look on meeting the iron. Abs has no idea what he's doing as he wrestles to fit the shirt over the ironing board. Scott's given up before he's even started, so Rich and J go head-to-head. When it's Rich's turn to hit the board, he manoeuvres the iron around the shirt like a pro. Top job! After Rich's initial attempts to cheat, he's won fairly. He looks delighted and displays his gleaming teeth in gratitude as he cuddles his medal!

AIM: To shovel down as many dry crackers as you can in 30 seconds!

Scott offers to go first, but it's not long before he's begging for water. Still, he does manage to swallow an impressive four-and-a-half crackers before admitting defeat and throwing the rest in the bin! J looks horrified after just on bite. "Euurrggh!" he whinges. "I can't do it!" Wimp. Sean swaggers into the position with all the confidence of a man who's used to swallowing packers of crackers whole. But soon he's running around like a headless chicken searching for a bin to spit them into! Abs, obviously concerned about his lack of medals, shovels handfuls of the crispy numbers into his gob before realizing that it may be easy to cram them all in, but it's quite another thing to swallow them all. Tragically, he's forced to follow Sean's lead and spit them into the bin. Scott looks on excited, knowing that if Rich doesn't beat his score he walks away with an award. He gets of to a good start, but is disqualified when he reaches for a drink. "I won! I won!" Scott screeches. "That means I'm the king of the crackers!"

AIM: To manoeuvre yourself around the Twister board without falling over.

Abs is feeling the strain of being the only medal-less Fivester. Everyone gets off to a good start, but it's not long before the bickering begins. "You're putting your arm there on purpose!" Sean whinges to Rich. Scott is pronounced "out" after two minutes and looks relieved! "My hands keep sweating!" J giggles. Sean's out next, leaving Abs and J in a nail-biting finale. Wobbly, Abs' legs give way and he tumbles to the floor - he's out! J gets to his feet, faces the fellas and booms: "I'm the grand winner!" "Show-off," Abs grumbles. Well, you know what they say - it's not the winning that matters, it's the taking part. Right, lads?