FIVE: Still Alive!

It's fair to say that tempers were getting a bit frayed in the Five camp not so long ago. However, fully recharged after a well-earned break, the lovable scamps are once more happy, relaxed and at one with each other. Awwww… Time for a chat we think!

There was a rumour going round that you'd left the band!
I know! Basically, I came back off my holiday a week ago and got told by various people that I'd left the band, that the other guys hated me and that I hated them. Apparently, I told them I couldn't be bothered anymore. I've got no idea where that came from and obviously it's not true 'cos I'm here!
Why does Five moan all the time?
(Giggles) A lot of the time, when we're seen or heard moaning, it's because we're so tired. We're okay at the moment 'cos we've all just had a holiday, but when you're knackered everything gets you wound up and I think a lot of people catch us in that mood. Things just blow up in front of people's faces. It's just our way, we don't lie about how we feel.
When was the last time you resorted to physical violence?
Properly? I can't remember. Yonks ago. We've had a few scraps in the band, haha! There have been a few pushes and stuff, but there's never been any headlining fights!

You went on a holiday to Lanzarote with J recently. What did you get up to?
We just had a really relaxing time. Did we meet any girls? No, we didn't go there for that. We went to chill out, not to party and go out all night.
If you were rich enough to retire tomorrow, would you?
Ermmm, I don't think so. I don't think I could ever stop. Say if I won the Lottery, I don't think I'd ever stop working - I'm a working class bloke, haha! Do I do the Lottery? No, haha! I play the Instants, though. I got a bit addicted at one time, I was buying them at every petrol station and J had to ween me off 'em.
Where's the worst place you've ever been with Five?
Is Smash Hits on sale in Germany? Erm, I dunno. That's really hard to answer without upsetting anyone. Actually, it would be New York. I found it really interesting, but I didn't like the way we were living there! It's all too busy and desperate, I think.

You went on holiday to Thailand with your family. Did you get recognised?
Yeah, there were a couple of girls at the reception when I was signing in, and they came up and said, 'You're Rich from Five, aren't you?' I was like, (through a gritted teeth smile) 'Yeah.' But it was OK, they were no problem.
Being a bit posh, do the others have any bad manners that wind you up?
Scott can have bad table manners, like when we go out somewhere nice. To start with, he won't eat anything - all he ever has is burger and chips with loads of ketchup. And Abs (at this point, Abs walks in and stops in his tracks) gets in moods where he takes a glass of water, sticks ketchup in it, then salt and pepper, then empties the ashtray into it, sticks in a flower and mixes it all around. ("I don't think I do that really," chirps Abs.)
Are Five cool?
Yeeahhh! Haha! Erm, yeah. We're all down to earth, we like a good laugh… and that's about it really!

How did you avoid being noticed during your holiday to DisneyWorld in Florida?
There were a few English people who recognised me and were looking at me a bit funny, as if to say, "Is that Scott from Five?" But my Mum and Dad were calling me Dan for the whole holiday to throw people off the scent.
Who are you closest to in the group at the mo'?
It's difficult. I mean, we all get on in the group, but me Abs and Rich spend a lot of time together, and J and Sean spend a lot of time together. A lot of people have picked up on that and are saying, 'Oh, that must be 'cos Five don't get on,' but it's not that. Collectively, as a group, we always come together when it's right, d'you know what I mean?
Have you ever been saucily involved with a fan?
No. Y'know, I really wouldn't. I don't see any point. I've always wanted to have a girl who likes me for me, and I think the only way I can do that - 'cos I don't trust many people now - is to go out with someone I knew before. I look at the fans as girls who are buying my records, and they're nice enough people, but it actually makes me feel sick thinking about it!

Did you have a nice time on your hols, then?
Yeah, I went to Barbados, it was really nice, really beautiful.
Your record company told us to stop spelling Five with a number. Why's that?
I read about that! I 'aven't got a clue what's that all about. It's just a creative thing, I think. We've always written it with a number - one of us has probably written it with a number and we've liked it. It just sort of carried on from there. How should you write it? Any way you want to, mate. You do what you want!
If you could make one thing illegal, what would it be?
Anchovies. Flippin hate 'em, man. They're so disgusting. I'm always picking 'em off stuff. They make me gag. Fish are cool - it's just anchovies I don't like. That's the first thing that came to mind.
What ingredients would you take on Ready Steady Cook?
Haha! Umm, I'd take potatoes, a ready-made microwave pizza, a tin of beans and some sausages. I'm not too good in the kitchen. I can cook a mean lasagne and some good pasta, but that's about it. I mean, I use Dolmio - I don't make me own sauce or anything - but it still tastes good.

Five things Five did during the interview
Sean chilled out by tinkling on the piano.
2. J reminisced about appearing on the 1997 Smash Hits Tour.
3. Abs presented our Smash Hits reporter with a cup and saucer of Diet Coke, complete with a flower on the side. Awww…
4. Rich drooled over snaps of Billie, declaring, "She's gorgeous, I think I'm in love."
5. Scott proudly posed in his new winter coat. "It's cool, innit?"