Their Last Interview Ever

L&K Magazine

Little did we know that the last time we met up with FIVE, it would be the last time, and with the announcement of their split, the L&K office are feeling pretty slam dunked...

RITCHIE
What stories have you read about yourself that are complete rubbish?
Oh, there's quite a few! One is that I wear make-up when I'm not at work. I tend to cut them out and keep them!

What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you on stage?

I always have the feeling that my flies have come undone and I've fallen out of my trousers! Luckily, that's never actually happened. One time when we were on tour, I tripped over one of our dancers on stage. I just did a somersault and got back on my feet. I thought it looked quite good - like it was meant to happen!

Has anyone flirted with you during an interview?

Yeah, and not just women! But you also get interviewers who just blatantly don't like you and try to get you all steamed up. I'm serious! I was in Israel once when the interviewer started calling me names and saying, "Come on, let's go outside!" They just try to antagonize you to see if they can get a rise out of you.

ABS
How often do you think about rude stuff?
What, like how many times a day? Let's just say it's pretty constant!

Have you ever felt the urge to go on a nudist beach?

Yeah, I suppose if I wanted to get an all-over tan I could be tempted. But to be honest, sometimes I quite like to get a little white line where my shorts end because it makes you see how tanned you are. you can compare it to your white bits whereas you can't if you're tanned all over!

If you were a woman, which bloke would you find attractive?

I think if I was a woman, I'd fancy Jason Stratham from the Lock, Stock and Snatch films. But I expect he's quite happy with Kelly Brock, isn't he?

If someone was interviewing you and they had food in their teeth, would you ignore it?
I'd always let them know if they had something on their face that shouldn't be there 'cause I'd want them to tell me if it was the other way around.

What do you do if you get a bit sweaty during a show?

There's nothing you can do about it really. You can't run off stage and have a wash! You just have to carry on - that's dedication for ya!

SCOTT

What's it like to be famous?
It's a bit weird because you're not recognized all the time. You are the majority of the time, but sometimes people just think you look like Scott from Five! I've actually had people come up to me and stare right in my face then go to their friends, "No, it's not him!"

Do people come up and grab your bum just 'cause you are famous?

Funny you should ask that because only this morning, I bent down to pick up something the dog had torn to pieces and Kerry pinched my bum. But I don't think it was because I'm famous!

What makes you feel really happy?

I think the best feeling in the world is being secure and having someone to wake up next to each morning and know they're there for you.

What makes you mouth water?
Waiting for my next pizza!

J
Tell us about the others mucky little habits.
To be honest, none of us has really got any mucky habits. I mean our language can be a bit bad sometimes, but that's about it.

Who's the vainest celeb you know?

I'm not sure I know any. I heard that Michael Greco who plays Beppe on EastEnders thinks quite highly of himself though!

Who's always got a rude joke to tell?
I'd say we all know quite a few! We often come out with stuff and forget that other people are around. They're generally not impressed. It's usually stuff along the line of doing things with the other family members or worse than that! We can say anything without being taken the wrong way. We even make cracks about Scott's girlfriend Kerry and who's the real father of their child!

Finally, who gets right in your nose?
Arrogant, narrow-minded people who aren't willing to get to know you.