NZ Girl

Pink tracksuit pants, sharks and taking his Nan for walks at the park – this isn’t the Abs we know from his Five days, but he’s still the same playful guy underneath.

Kate talked to Abs on a Wednesday morning…tired, hungover but still able to charm the pants off any woman…

Paint me a picture…what are you doing right now?
I’m just chilling because this is the only day off I’ve had in ages and you guys get me up at 8 o’clock in the morning down there!! I’m at a friends house because I had a bit of a mad night last night. I’m trying to keep as quiet as I can because he’s asleep on the sofa…but that’s cool because I still get to throw things at him.

What did you get up to last night?
We just had a night out and ended up back at this hotel – I don’t know whose hotel it was, but I remember lots of loud music and craziness…I don’t even know how I got home.

Your album is released soon…what can we expect to hear?
(laughs) Do you know what, when people ask me that question I say, “Don’t expect nothing”. If you want to get the album, get the album and keep the receipt and take it back and get Lord of the Rings on DVD. It’s an eclectic mix of pop basically. I’ve been to New York and Dublin…I’ve been recording all over the show so the album shows that. There’s a rendition of a track called “Spin me Round” and that sounds crazy. Hopefully you like it.

If you could have 24 hours with one person – living or dead – who would it be and what would you do?
Damn! This is a tough one for this time of the morning man! I’d spend the day with Angelina Jolie I think and we’d try on Tomb Raider costumes and I’d give her my opinion on what costumes I think would look good.

Will you join in?
Me? Yeah I’ll try a few…I’m not sure about the tight lycra but we can work around that.

What’s the most tragic item in your wardrobe?
Shame! I’ve literally just put most of my tragic clothes in a bag and given them to one of my cousins to wear. I haven’t got that many tragic clothes, but there is a lot of baggy stuff that people tend to have a go at me about, like “Why are your trousers so big and baggy pull ‘em up!” I’ve got a pink pair of tracksuit bottoms – I don’t wear them though…I don’t wear them!! You’ve got to understand I get so many clothes from people and you just stick them in a bag and get them all home and don’t even wear half of it. I’ve got a whole room full of clothes that doesn’t even see sunlight.

What’s your dream car?
Right now it’s a Ferrari. I’m saving up – I’ve got to sell a few albums first obviously…I’m looking at yachts at the moment though.

What’s the best present you’ve ever been given?
I was coming back from LA just recently and it was my birthday and I was on a plane. The stewardesses gave me a massage, a lap dance and a chocolate muffin.

What kind of airline were you flying?!?!
Virgin Airlines – those girls are sexy on Virgin Atlantic that’s why I fly with them. Other airlines have moody stewardesses but Virgin are generally always nice. You get chocolate muffins and massages…what more could you want?

What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever set fire to?
A hotel room at this very nice hotel! We were in Dublin and Five were out there recording and we’d literally just arrived. I went to Scott’s room and he had this thing where he used to twist his hair up and he couldn’t do the back of his hair so I was helping him do it. The story was that I was smoking a cigar by the window and the curtains blew and the cigar set the curtains on fire. Anyway, there was about 80 grand worth of damages.

Did you have to pay for it?
No, I got away with it…I don’t know how either. They haven’t sued me or anything yet…but it was about four years ago so I don’t think there will be anything now.

What’s the best thing about women?
You know what, that’s so weird that you asked me that question. I was at this lingerie fashion show and these models were walking round in all this underwear. I was sitting there thinking, “Oh my God, women are just fucking fantastic”. There was not one thing that I could pick out, I just love everything about them. Women in general are pretty amazing.

You have such a hard life!
I sound like such a slut at the same time though but stuff it! Don’t you make me sound like a playboy though, I’m not – I still take my Nan for walks in the park at the weekend and we go and feed the ducks. I’m not all player okay?

What’s the most annoying thing?
Shopping can be proper hard work! I don’t mind as long as I get something and we need to go to that first shop I like and get something, then I’m cool for the rest of the day.

Is she paying?
No no, I’ll pay – I ain’t got a problem with the whole paying side of it, just as long as I get something that I can enjoy when I get home.

I also hate when you go into a shop and ask a girl if she wants something like a bag of chips or something, and she’ll go, “no no no”. Later you get home and she starts nibbling in your stuff – and I’m like, “I fucking said did you want anything!” Apart from that they’re pretty much all right.

What’s the biggest rebound no-no?
Sitting indoors listening to things that remind you of her and watching films that you watched together and going places you went together…that’s just hard. You’ve just got to keep strong and DON’T call them. I’m sure loads of people have been in the situation where you split up and get back together again and split up and get back together again, and you’re like “What the fuck are we doing?” You’ve got to split up and stay away. It’s tough.

Describe your perfect night?
Sometimes I’m feeling kinda naughty and I like to go out and get into trouble, and other times I like to sit at home and chill and look at my fish. Other times I’ll go for a drive in my car but generally I’m out and about.

What kind of fish do you have?
I’ve got a big-ass fish tank with loads of little marine fish. Imagine little dice – there are yellow dice with blue dots and blue dice with yellow dots. I’m thinking about getting a shark but I think it might eat them.

Have you seen Finding Nemo yet?
(Gets excited) No, no man! I’ve seen bits of it because I love all my Disney. I’ve got this big-ass TV and I’ve got every DVD – that’s another thing I love to do when I’m chilling…watch DVD’s – anyway I’ve got every Disney DVD.

Have you ever been stopped by customs?
Ummmm yes. Don’t ask me these questions girl! They just pick on me all the time, I don’t know what it is man, I must look shady or something. Basically I got stopped and it was so unlucky. I had these clothes in my bag because I travel with my dancers and they sometimes put their stuff in my suitcase. I had to put some of the girl’s stuff in my case – all like girl’s underwear and leather skirts and little mini’s and high heel shoes and shit. I don’t know if they saw anything as it went through the checker but the guy opened it anyway and looked in. I’d just thrown the girl’s stuff in so it was all on top and the guy opened it and just looked at me then zipped it all up. I thought, “Shit man, this guy must think I’m a right old perve.” He didn’t say anything but it was quite embarrassing man.

you could do a celebrity endorsement for any product, what would it be?
Damn these questions are good man!! I’d be Kylie’s lingerie man…I’d even model it if people wanted.

What reality TV show would you go on?
It’s kinda hard to say right, because if I was in the situation where I didn’t have a solo career or anything then I’d probably go for anything. Before you get here you’ll do anything to get into it and be famous. You’d probably see me on all of them – Big Brother, Celebrity Whatever, Pop Idol, American Idol – anything man, I’d be working so hard to get into the industry.

What are you up to over the next few months?
I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow hun. All I know is the album is out on September 8 over here and I’ll be doing lots of promo, then I’m going to LA to do the next video.

What’s the first thing that comes into mind when I say…?

Blind date: Oh my God, never tried it. There was a thing where someone was trying to set me up but I saw the girl beforehand so it don’t count. I wasn’t really that impressed either and I know that sounds really horrible, but it’s just one of those things.

How do you escape from a situation you’re not comfortable in?
Right, check it out. What you do is if you’re on a blind date and you’re gonna go for a meal and you turn up and don’t like the person for whatever reason, then turn it into a drink and kick. Make sure you play the bill and run.

Beer: I fucking hate beer, it’s nasty! I’ve never drunk it never have. I’m a big shot kinda guy – I like all my slippery nipples. I figure that if you’re gonna drink you should go out and hammer the shots and get completely hammered and take it from there. That way you don’t have to spend half the night getting there. I like all my cocktails and things and my spirits.

At this point the operator cuts in and tells us to wind up the call.

Damn it I’m enjoying this!

Okay, last one – hangover:
That’s hard because when you’ve got a hangover it’s not the nicest thing to have when you’re jumping around and you smell like drink. You know when the drink starts sweating out of you and the people standing round you say, “Can you smell vodka?” And I’m like, “Yeah that’s me”. It’s nasty – I hate that shit. No, horrible, not nice until about 6pm when you get Nandos – just go and fill you stomach up with chicken or something.

Abs, thanks heaps for chatting – have a good day!
Nah, thank you honey, thanks for talking to me. Have a good day love.